Well, it’s time to be completely honest. The last three months of my life have been the hardest I have ever faced (and am still facing).
As I sit here thinking about what I want to write, it seems cliché, but really, don’t a lot of things have a cheesy stereotype? So, you can look at this post and see something corny or you can look past the almost vapid expression and see the simple truth. And let me say, this post doesn’t come from a place of healing or a place of even fully comprehending what I am trying to challenge everyone to do…but I do know that it is true (and that I’m challenging myself too).
Okay, back to my sob story (sarcasm is my way of deflecting, can you tell?). Well, the actual story isn’t the important part, so I’ll just skip to the part that I hope becomes my ending. In Cold Tangerines, Shauna Niequist so beautiful articulates what I want to change my mental disposition to:
“Before the wars are over, before the cures are found, before the wrongs are righted, Today, humble Today, presents itself to us with all the ceremony and bling of a glittering diamond ring: Wear me, it says. Wear me out. Love me, dive into me, discover me, it pleads with us.”
I didn’t save this delightfully worded paragraph for the end of my post, because reading it isn’t an ending, but it can be the thought that spurs on the beginning of change. And, as inspiring as that paragraph is, I think we can all say that sometimes it’s really difficult to just “wear” Today.
Now, maybe it’s because I’ve been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy (hence the title of this post) or maybe it’s because I met an amazing Australian woman at a hostel last week, who told me about how she wanted to enjoy life, so she quit her job, left everything she knew and has been traveling the world ever since… but, either way, I’ve been thinking about that ominous question we all ponder at some point:
If I was going to die tomorrow, would I still be living life the way that I am?
I’m not trying to get all heavy on you…but, seriously, if you knew that the end of this week was also the end of your life, would you still be living how you are right now?
Would you be with the person you love?
Change the way you treat people?
Quit the job you have?
Serve Christ differently?
Seek forgiveness from someone?
Or, maybe, just try to enjoy Today a little more?
Yes, in all reality, there are practicalities we have to consider (since I genuinely hope none of you die by the end of the week). Yes, there are some things we have no control over.
BUT, we can start doing something different. We can start making changes. And maybe, just maybe, if we start to make some progress, we’ll start to see that Today truly is a gift.