I’ve missed myself.
I know that sounds weird, so let me explain. You know how certain people or situations take so much of you? You’re so focused on the hurt in your life, that you no longer see or do the things that bring you joy, make you feel alive, make you feel like yourself?
Well, I have been in a place where, if the the things that brought me joy in life were my only identifier, I would be unrecognizable.
I guess once we’ve been hurt, we never fully return to the person that we once were, but I do believe that we can come back a wiser, better human being… if we allow ourselves. Day by day, I feel these little pieces of myself come floating back:
Last week, I read a book.
Yesterday, I ran. Not as a way to keep my mind off of life, but just because I love to run.
This week, I am able to focus at work. I’ve crossed so many things off my list.
Last weekend, I spent time with people I love and laughed harder than I have in a while.
And most importantly:
Yesterday, I cried. Because I was happy, not sad.
And, today, I am writing.
While that’s a rather odd list, it’s a list of things that make me who I am. They are pieces of me that have been lost, but are slowly being found. I say all of this for two reasons. One reason being that I believe we should share the good things God is doing in our lives. Secondly, I hope that this will encourage you. Whoever you are…if you’re someone who’s hurt me, loved me, never met me, or barely knows me; Remember that you will make it through what you’re going through. I don’t know when, but eventually someone will be able to look at you and say, “After plodding uphill for many weeks, you are now traipsing through lush meadows drenched in warm sunshine.” This line from Jesus Calling reminded me that God always brings me back to a time a ease and refreshment, and for that, I am extremely grateful today.